Exercise: Speech Acts

Sea Change

‘Hey, Saray! It’s on!’ Keev said.

The Prime Minister announced today that all public funding for religious groups would be terminated with those funds being diverted back into public health and education. Despite the LNP’s increasing sums of taxation being diverted out of secular society, Labour has implemented a fundamental shift in public spending.

‘Are you fucking kidding?’ Saray knew a bunch of god-squadders who would be screaming at the telly right now.

‘The lack of transparency of religious groups regarding human rights abuses, specifically the treatment of children, has raised the critical morals of using public moneys for what is inherently a private affair. Australia is a multicultural nation. Belief is a private matter, not a public investment.’

‘Fuck yeah!’ But how far are they gonna go?

Albanese went on to note that the Labour Party has finally changed their spelling to conform with Standard Australian English. He noted this flags Labour’s focus on the welfare of all citizens, especially those who produce wealth as opposed to those who profit from wealth.

This is where we finally act. This is where we finally move forward! 

‘Other budgetary changes include the introduction of progressive taxation which targets the richest and wealthiest people and companies who operate within our borders. This new funding is being transferred into public education on climate and extinction, ending the housing crisis, reducing GDP and paying reparations to Indigenous peoples.’

Can you stop the yanks? Are you gonna stand up against the bloody bible-bashers? You gonna stop them in the street and preachat ‘em? Fuck it. You can do this if that stupid Albanese can! Got it right. Time is now. 

‘Yes!’