While I wasn’t looking
I learned a new word today
It popped up in a most unexpected way
Still trying to discern the origin
Of such an unpleasant tone
Unawares since I was a child it’s grown
‘We cannot know before we know’
I often taught my students
And I now I have the sense
Of contempt
Brutal
Cold
Detached
Contempt
Maternal
Familial
Social
Still puzzled at how I’ve earned such spite
Always tried to give and help
To smile instead of bite and yelp
I’ve stepped on toes?
Came on too strong?
I’ve definitely done something wrong.
Mother, brother, sister? Incessantly.
Lover? No, rarely.
Friend? Not barely!
But lecturer and tutor
Students and bosses
All indicate contempt with no redresses.
So today I learned a new word
My family has taught it to me well
Today I emerge from family dynamic hell.