Famous novelist, all round sweet guy, and life of the party, is dead. Laying on the floor he looks so incongruous with his established personality traits. Even sleeping it’s doubtful he could remain that still. Murder, it seems. At this party, no less! The attendees are all present, and herein hides the perpetrator of this most foul crime. 

Recently divorced, his ex-wife is naturally not present. I’m sure she, after twelve years of him spending his time typing, wanted nothing to do with yet another book party. She rarely stuck around for even his most popular book previews. Must’ve been quite tedious. There must be clues as to who did the deed…

May Wayborne, his publisher, stands resolute behind the sofa; a barrier protecting her from being contaminated, perhaps? She seems distracted and in shock, staring at Davis’ prone carcass on the oval Kashmir rug, blood slowly seeping into the lovely traditional pattern.

Gil Trattorino, best friend, kneeling by his side. Sobbing. Doubt he could put on a show like that – we all think he was in love with Davis, but he was always parading lovers about – a different one for each party, it seemed. 

Sali Harrison, now, there’s a dark face. Looks as though a storm is brewing. Being his editor, perhaps it’s because Davis still hasn’t finished his last two submissions, and now Sali will never get them! Not sure if he’s the type to go at someone with an ice-pick, though.

Fey Smith. Dull, plain, we’ve never figured out how she got into marketing. I guess the Internet doesn’t actually need a smile and warmth as much as the ability to sit through the inconceivably tedious efforts to set up a webpage! Hers are definitely works of art, so she has a much better imagination that what she initially presents with.

And then there’s Gaz, Gaz The Man. Gary Healsford always seems to over-compensate for something lacking in his trousers, but we all figured it’s just a front. He is pacing in the kitchen, looking for a way out, it seems, but keeps returning to the living room archways, peering at everyone. 

I expect the police should arrive soon, and a detective will start questions. They better turn up before the media catches wind! That would be a disaster for police work, but remarkably good for sales.

No-one seems to have seen who could have done it, but it is one of us.