Western liberal democracies were thrown into chaos yesterday as Trump announced that no one would get any more oil until each country fired all their DEI politicians and allowed US companies free reign.
After taking control of the Hormuz Straight, Trump now has control of 90% of global crude supply. After the fourth leader of the IRGC failed to emerge from a coma, Prince Pahlavi is assembling cabinet and is in talks with Apple CEO Tim Cook to implement democratic capitalism, commencing as soon as the start of next week.
Riots are continuing in English speaking cities around the world as DEI savants insist they are fighting fascism whilst destroying businesses, interfering with lawful action, terminating freedom of speech, and protecting a wide range of nefarious actors such in fraud, pedophilia, anti-democratic political leaders, and damaging the environment with increasing amounts of hair dye.
The reactive Australian leadership released several self-conflicting statements over the past few days ranging from denial to umbrage while Australia’s new opposition party, One Nation, continues to air Labour’s dirty laundry currently totalling $AU860,000,000.
Observers note that now the head of the snake has been severed, the Arabic nations have observed the expected drop in terrorist attacks, and also with the disparate Islamic leaders in various countries vying to become the next supreme leader. Continuing chaos and in-fighting is expected in those communities for decades to come.
Finally, just this morning, Trump stated that, ‘Any country on planet Earth which does not comply with US negotiations will have its resources used for world peace. I’m sending in the troops’.
More news at 11!
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